The Mask

About 3 years old....
I wanted the hot cars racer. My mom refused to get it for me. I cried.
About 7 years old...
I wanted a new board game. My dad refused. I threw a tantrum.
About 14 years old....
I wanted a parker pen. My dad said I would lose it very easily. I acted sad.
About 19 years old....
The girl I liked said no. I acted heartbroken.
Now- 23 years
I think about all these and one thought comes to my mind immediately- The MASK
Every single time, I would have done easily pretty well without whatever I had wanted at that point of time. But I just had to act out my emotions then. It was all a mask. A mask that would have conveyed how I felt about it at that time; A mask that would change with time. A mask is just something that I want others to perceive- a part of what I want them to know- A truth that is half exposed.

Today, I wonder what are these emotions. Are they what I feel? Are they real? I am not sure I know the answer. Why should sadness be expressed with tears and frowns. Why should happiness be expressed with a smile. Is the reaction innate? or has it been taught to us in this fashion? If my face were to be carved in granite and every time I feel something, all I have to do is wear a mask that would depict my face in a contortion that would be understood as my thought. Well seems to me like I am just thinking in a weird way, where the social convention has a different meaning to me. Does not mean that I am going to change it. I shall practice this and make the mask perfect such that I can let others know what I am not feeling too.

Calmness, when my heart races and does a little dance.
Happiness when all I want to do is wring my heart and do the crudest surgery on it.
Sympathy when all I want to do is tie the other person's tongue in an irretrievable knot
Impassiveness when some comments have guillotined my ego

This is what everyone does and it is the accepted social convention. The planet of masks welcomes you!