What would it mean to give a gift? Everytime I want to get a gift, I go to the store and search for something that the other person might like or what I think might be what the other person wants. When on the receiving end, you are much too grateful if its something that you absolutely wanted to own and you were putting off the purchase for some excuse or the other. But there is one more level to gifting that I have felt so good about for sometime now. The gift of time, effort and personal likes.
A gift received always makes you happy- it could be the thought that someone cares enough to give you a gift or it could be the fact that the gift would be very useful to you or a combination of both, where the gifter takes the initiative to know what you like and gives you what you want. This is probably the quintessential law of a gift, but one which is very loosely followed. I have relished every gift that I have received- There was one, where a dear friend had written a poem wishing me to experience life without fear; French press and thermos for coffee was another instance; so on and so forth. I thank everyone for their gifts; but more importantly I felt important when I received the gifts; I felt cared for. Of course, I am the receiver and hence I am happy.
What would give the gifter happiness? The thought of spending money and time and effort into making a gift is of course a part of the process, but is not the source of happiness in a realistic world among non- ideal people which is what we all are. Happiness for the giver is seeing joy in the face of the receiver. Its the acceptance of the gift and truly appreciating the gift. This is all true and everyone realises it.
If everyone realises it, why should I be writing about what everyone knows? well, because I recently found greater happiness as a giver not when gifting from the receiver's perspective, but when giving away something that I really wanted for myself and in which I had invested a lot of time and effort. I am an avid numismatist and collected the fifty state quarters issued in the USA over a period of 10 months. The fiftieth coin in the collection was the toughest to get and I spent quite sometime for that coin alone. I gifted the collection to a very close friend. The happiness stemmed not from just giving it away, but in the gift being accepted for what it was. It was an important part of me. The hobby defines some very essential flaws and strongpoints in my character. The gift was appreciated in a sense (atleast in my perspective) that could probably not be expressed in words. That is when I understood the joy of giving.
When you give a part of yourself and it is accepted with gratitude, its as if you are accepted and are rejoiced. Its definitely not practical for everyone and definitely not practical to gift just about anybody in this sense. But when you do so, I would imagine you would understand an essential point. That gifts are dime a dozen. But great gifts are priceless and are the unexpected things.
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